Written by Jesus Figueroa
@ThisFunktional
Join Jesus Figueroa, @ThisFunktional of ThisFunktional.com, for Season 2 Episode 2 of LETS TALK… with ThisFunktional.
It’s been awhile and chances are you’ve seen that I’ve been posting many interviews. I’ve been trying to do more and more interviews to try and gain motivation to talk more. Hearing stories really makes me feel like everyone has something to say, everyone’s story matters, so why wouldn’t my story matter.
I’m avoiding what I’ve really wanted to podcast about, therapy. Therapy is going great, I’m testing the same for depression and anxiety, but sometimes I wonder if it’s because I’ve learned the routine questions. Am I trying to fool everyone from knowing how I’m truly feeling. I don’t feel like much inside me has changed for the better. If anything, I get in these depressive moods more and more often. I’m tired. I don’t want to do stuff. I’m not socializing or going out as much. I can’t ride the excitement of doing good as I use to, but I’ve gotten great at masking it. I’ve gotten fantastic and internalizing things and not showing what’s behind my eyes. I feel detrimental to myself. I have shifted into this place I’ve wanted to avoid. I’ve gotten back into video games to lose myself into a better world than I feel I’m in. Things can’t hurt if they aren’t real. The world can be great even if that world is virtual.
My therapist says that I don’t do enough self care, she may have discovered why as well…maybe. Finding purpose in activities, selfless vs selfish, and re-energizing.
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